Time. Patience. They can at times be the natural enemies of progress. An antagonistic duo in a slow motion battle against self-fulfillment. Whether you’re waiting to reach potential long ago promised or working toward personal goals that seem forever out of reach, waking each morning to the realization that it has not yet happened can be a special kind of maddening. For me, practicing patience has proven to be one of the most difficult challenges of adulthood.
First materializing soon after I graduated from college, a fervent sense of restlessness exists within me. It bubbles to the surface every so often, lending me to 24 hour states of depression and borderline panic. To describe it, it’s a crushing pressure, a sweltering heat and a deafening silence all at once. It isn’t often that it strikes, but when it does, the frustration consumes me, often to the point of tears. Like clockwork, the next day is always met with a smile and renewed sense of ambition.
First, let’s not assume that I’m entirely sure of what exactly I am waiting for. I have dreams and goals, like anyone else. Attaining them and achieving whatever I deem at the time to be “success” would be… a success, sure. The sense of urgency has more to do with what I don’t know and haven’t planned for. The question is always “when?”, but “what?” looms large along side it. I’m at peace with these feelings and welcome their cycle through my psyche. It’s cleansing in a way, and opens my eyes to see again the many reasons a day spent in despair is one wasted.
For starters, being anxious for something to occur, even if you’re not positive of what it is, is evidence of positivity in its simplest form. There’s a light at the end of the tunnel. However distant it may seem, it’s there. Your mind’s eye can see it. This is more than enough to keep a person going. Also known as: Hope.
The next reason is simple: Life. I heard it got five stars in the app store. If you’re that worried about it, spend life ensuring you are ready in every way. Or spend life not worrying about it at all. The fact of the matter is, we have a choice. Any way you slice it, life is good.
With patience, the sweltering heat always cools. When it does, take a breath. Life has a way of blowing fresh air right past your nose. Last week I drove to Miami with my Mom, and flew back alone. After 25+ years at her employer, Mama K got her break last month and is, as of last week, a resident of Southern Florida. She was patient, spending years not anxiously waiting, but loving and growing with the people she cared about most. Being rewarded for hard work and willingness to learn, she has reached a level in her career she was always hopeful to achieve. She let it come to her. A true testament of patience. This was not only the fresh air that I needed, but another in a long list of ways she’s inspired me to be a better person.
Whatever you do, weather the storm. Tomorrow is a new day.